Thursday, June 5, 2008

Surpise visit

I had a surprise visit today from my son, Ross. He came home with his friend ,whose grandfather passed away. I was so excited to see him except, what he didn't know, was that I was just getting over saying good bye to him a week ago. He was home two weeks ago for high school graduation. When he left, I cried like a baby. It always hurts so much. I'm not sure, but I am guessing by my reaction today to his surprise visit, that the pain of saying good bye will probably never stop because my happiness in seeing him was swallowed up in the pain of the good bye I will have to make. I just hate good bye and today, almost hated hello because I have to say good bye.

This made me realize today that this is why we mask our emotions of any kind. It is easier than feeling pain. If I don't get excited to see Ross than I won't be hurt when he leaves. Only I am not willing to do that. So, I feel pain. And, I guess, that is a good thing. I would rather feel than build a wall of protection around me so that I don't feel again. I hugged Ross today with pain in my heart because he would leave again and I would cry and be sad and cry out to my Heavenly Father for the only true source of pain relief. Somehow, He heals my broken heart.

On a lighter note....Ross' boss sent me these photos of him. They thought I would get such a kick out of them. Ross keeps telling me (and everyone who looks at it on my refrigerator) that they were taken for the Great Western Insulation's (the place he works at in Montana) calendar that they are giving away to customers. I just love him. There has never been a dull moment with Ross around.


jeanie said...

So well put, Robin. And with our kids-it is soooooo delicate and ripping all at once.

I think this is why generations drift apart. The parents withdraw and withhold to avoid the pain of loss, the kids don't understand and then there is distance.

I am glad you're willing not to let it happen.

jeanie said...

omygosh-I just watched a movie with Ross as one of the main characters! Have you seen "The Great Debaters"??? The young Mr. Lowe is Ross, through and through. And James Farmer was Corbinesque!

Donna M. said...

Wasn't sure I was on the right page when I saw the photos at first. Kids!